The First Name Fiasco
by BehindTheLens
Summary: One of the biggest challenges of having a baby is finding a name. A Big Bang Theory couple tries to reach some sort of agreement with the help of a baby book. One-shot.


_Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my story. If I use your name here and have Penny/Leonard insulting it, I am very sorry! I do not own Big Bang Theory; I just have Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD. :) Any reviews are welcome._

The First Name Fiasco

Not for the first time, an argument had broken out in the Hofstadter household.

"Absolutely not! My child is NOT going to be named Newton Hofstadter!"

Leonard rubbed his temples with his knuckles, trying to ignore the tension headache that was starting to build. For the past three months, he and his wife had been constantly arguing about what to name their first child. The fact that they didn't know the sex of the baby (Penny liked the element of surprise) didn't help matters. Coming up with one name was difficult enough; coming up with one for each sex was near impossible. And they only had a month to figure it out.

He glanced at his wife in front of him. Penny was lounging on the couch, her hands rubbing her swollen belly. Her blue eyes, usually kind, were filled with fire at Leonard's timid suggestion at a baby name.

"He'd sound intelligent," Leonard offered lamely.

"He'd sound like a loser," Penny huffed. "Besides, what if it's a girl? Could you imagine a little girl being named Newton?"

"What about Marie?" He thought it was a safe name, and a name that paid tribute to one of the most intelligent female scientists in the world.

"Leonard, we are not talking about an 80 year old woman! We are talking about our baby!"

In the end, as a peace offering, Leonard purchased a baby name book when he was at the store buying more Cheese Whiz and Haagen Daaz ice cream (Penny's recent favorite craving.)

"How about Isabelle? It means God is my vow," Penny asked, as she lay on the bed. "Isabelle Hofstadter. Doesn't sound bad, don'tcha think?"

"I don't know…" Leonard said slowly, as he sat down next to his wife, who was flipping through the book's pages. "Why can't we name it Amidala? That's pretty. Amidala Hofstadter."

She glared at him. "Our baby will not be named after Star Wars," she said, a tone of finality in her voice.

"I can't think of a better solution! At this point, if it's a boy, why don't we just name it after Sheldon," he snapped. She looked at him thoughtfully, then began flipping through the book again. "What's with that look? Are you seriously thinking of naming our progeny after Sheldon Cooper?"

"I wonder what Sheldon means," she commented, ignoring his last remark.

"Lunatic? Maniac? The most OCPD person in the world?" He leaned over and rubbed Penny's belly.

"Sheldon," Penny read, "is of English origin and means town in the valley."

"Must be one nutty town. Okay, scratch that idea. Not Sheldon. How about we name it after me? Or Leonard Nimoy?"

"Sweetie, I love you, but no."

"Howard?"

"Definitely not." She skimmed through the pages. "Howard. It means disgusting pervert."

"Really?"

"No. It means guardian of the home, but regardless, our baby will not be named for Howard. I don't care how protected our home is." She shivered. "By the way … Leonard means strong like a lion. Totally overestimates your strength, sweetie."

"Just because I couldn't haul the crib upstairs …"

She chuckled musically. "Maybe we should name the baby after Raj."

He jerked upward and stared at her with an incredulous look on his face. "You won't name our baby after a physics genius or one of the most influential female scientists in the world, but you would be willing to name our offspring after a man who hasn't the slightest ability to talk to women?"

"His name means emperor," she pointed out, as though that settled everything.

Leonard grabbed the book from his wife's hands and began to page through it.

"What are you looking for?" she asked.

"What your name means." He flipped through the book, then smiled.

"Penelope," he read, "means dream weaver. Hey, like the song!" He immediately launched into the old classic song, causing Penny to giggle.

"Stop it, Leonard!" she laughed, moving away as he began to tickle her ribs. The motion caused the baby to stir in her womb. "Ooooh, the baby's kicking again," she told him.

He placed a kiss on her belly, right over where the baby had last kicked. "Poor baby," he cooed, rubbing Penny's belly. "We still don't have a name for you. But don't worry, we will before you're born. Daddy promises." He kissed her stomach again before looking up into his wife's eyes. "Maybe we can call you Spock," he whispered to the baby.

"I heard that, and the answer is no," Penny smiled, before running her hands through her husband's hair and dragging him up for a long kiss.


End file.
